Body Swap by Clansman


Description: A soldier is fatally wounded in Afghanistan at the same time as a young boy is badly injured in a car crash which kills the rest of his family. The soldier desperately fights for life while the young boy wants to give up. they both get their wish.
Size: 723 KB ( ~ 137,102 words)
Type: Fantasy
Sex Contents: Some Sex
Tags: Ma/Fa, Consensual, Fiction, Paranormal, Incest, MaleDom, First

Review by Threesheets   [other reviews by Threesheets]

Reviewed: 2011-10-22


After literally fighting my way through "British" English, mis-used synonyms and bad grammer, I made it all the way the way to chapter 10. Oh Joy! !

The plot while intriguing, with numerous possibilities, is trite. Extremely predictable.

What turns me off the most is the fact that EVERY step and action taken by they main protagonist and his aunt must be painstakingly explained. Not only to each other but to the folks they are interacting with.

I cannot give a score for this since I did not finish the story nor will I.

I highly recommend the use of one of the volunteer editors and a good proof reader with a re-submission to follow. I do believe the story has the possibility to become an EXCELLENT read, not to mention fun. As it sits now, it fails to meet the one requisite I demand. Could it be believable? No.

Plot: N/A | Technical Quality: N/A | Appeal to Reviewer: N/A