A short story based on the novel 'Charlotte's Movie' by Ken Randall. Ever wonder what happened to everyone after they graduated H.S.? Here's what happened to one of them. Note: It's best if you read CM before reading this-or not. Thank you Ken for permitting me to post this.
Size: 19 KB (3,837 words)
Genre: Fan Fiction
Sex Contents: Much Sex
Tags: Ma/ft, mt/Fa, Mult, Consensual, Heterosexual, Fiction, Fan Fiction, Group Sex, Oral Sex, Anal Sex, School
Review by Pleasure Boy 1 [other reviews by Pleasure Boy 1]
Reviewed:
Allen's captured Sheila's character very accurately here. If you're a fan of the original story, this is a bit of a window into one possible future for one of the characters. It's well thought-out and engaging, in such a short amount of words.
I'm actually flattered that he enjoyed my story enough to write this piece. He's got enough talent to create his own story worlds.
My only critique would be that the focus is a little muddled at the beginning. Sheila keeps looking at words on the screen, and hearing the phone ring, and you don't really know what's going on for a few pages. This could be fixed by having the narrator be more direct about what she's writing, who's calling, and why, just to give us a frame of reference. Some people like this dream-like narrative style however, so whether this is a flaw is relative to each person's personal tastes.
The boy she was fucking at the end was a little vague and one-dimensional as well, just a hard-on with a face. But once again, that's relative to my personal tastes. Others may not mind at all.
Overall, it was enjoyable.
