JasonD needs to go to nightschool to learn English, and particularly, how to spell. Using 'enuff' instead of 'enough', 'thot' instead of 'thought' and so on ad nauseum, just becomes intensely irritating. Using the services of an editor could have improved the story significantly.
The plot is great, I really enjoyed the story itself, though I believe the characters could have been better fleshed out, there was scope for a lot of improvement.
All in all, I would recommend reading this story. If you can get past the technical errors, it's well worth reading.