Forum: Author Hangout

or better yet, after the story finishes posting,

It's finished. It's a short story.

I'm not sure if I missed it, or if I got it and just didn't see it as so much of a twist.

I don't want to be a spoiler here so I'll stay mum.

I'm not sure if I missed it, or if I got it and just didn't see it as so much of a twist.

Same here. Liked the story, saw what was left unsaid (won't mention it in case I'm anywhere near the mark), but not exactly a twist. So I guess your first reader is more perceptive than at least a couple of us.

bb

Do we have a place (Author Hangout?) where those who wish to can announce a new story? I for one would have liked to see it,

Maybe the Story Discussion part of the forum. But although I've been known to promote my own work, I would feel funny putting it there. I thought that was for readers wanting to discuss stories.

bb, the story is "Tina's Babysitting Adventure" at https://storiesonline.net/s/12068/tinas-babysitting-adventure (told you I wasn't shy about self-promotiing).

the first related "hook" was near be beginning (screen 3 on my laptop)

Actually, the first was in the 6th paragraph. :)

Actually, the first was in the 6th paragraph. :)

OK, then I did get it. Saw that the first time through. Still not sure I'd call the ending a "twist," but I guess "twist" is an elastic term, the best kind.

bb

It's obvious when you think about it. The mother's bizarre treatment of an adult daughter is the key.

The mother has a terminal illness and doesn't want anyone to know, but she wants to see grandchildren before she passes. Sammi is pregnant because she's suffering from morning sickness so it's Tina's turn.

AJ

It's obvious when you think about it.

LMFAO

Nope, that's a completely different story. But it brings up a point about not telling the reader everything. Each reader can make the story their own.

Nope, that's a completely different story. But it brings up a point about not telling the reader everything. Each reader can make the story their own.

I'm editing another author's story, and it's emphasizing this point. I keep marking various sentences: "Unnecessary" or "Obvious, unneeded".

That's why it makes sense to include other authors as editors. While most editors know what's the proper use of English, they aren't focus on the best way to communicate ideas, nor are they good at spotting redundancies or pointless rants.

That's not to say author's don't need proofreaders. Rather it's an argument that you need as many people as possible editing your work, both those with the expertise and those with more specific/limited knowledge.

Sammi is pregnant because she's suffering from morning sickness so it's Tina's turn.

But then you'd have stupid readers (just saying) pointing out (a) it's usually the other way around: she suffers morning sickness because she's pregnant; and (b) why can't she go screw at night since by definition morning sickness eases off during the day.

I agree, there's a story here.

bb

But then you'd have stupid readers (just saying) pointing out (a) it's usually the other way around: she suffers morning sickness because she's pregnant;

But then you'd have even more readers pointing out that that bb guy missed the point of your sentence: that the morning sickness indicates she's pregnant ...

I've had too much coffee this morning.

bb

PS, I prefer my caffeine cold and carbonated.

yeah team - only way to go, so cold it's almost a slushy