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SOL in real life - Funny as hell to see, but could have been traumatic...

Wheezer

This sounds like one of those SOL stories with bestiality & furry tags in the description, but I swear it's absolutely true and happened this afternoon around 20 minutes after four o'clock.

An absolutely hilarious event happened this afternoon that I'm sure probably traumatized one of my neighbor girls, but still made me laugh so hard I nearly pissed myself. The girl, aged 7 or 8, and her younger brother were playing in their front yard, chasing each other between front and back yards, yelling, screaming, wrestling - typical kids at play. Their large blond dog (Lab or similar large breed) was running with them and getting more and more excited. Little brother collapses out of breath on the porch as I am pulling out of my driveway to go get my wife from work. Sister bends over brother to say something. That hound leaped on her back, knocking her to her hands and knees over her little brother, then wrapped his front paws tightly around her just under her armpits and proceeded to have his way with her! Poor kid couldn't get away. Lot's of yelling and screaming for Mom. By then, I was at the end of the block and didn't see how the situation resolved itself. It's a good thing the girl was wearing jeans. If she'd been in a skirt or dress she may have had a very rude and graphic introduction to the meaning of "doggy-style." Mom probably enjoyed explaining to her 7 yr old what that dog was trying to do to her, and what that wet stuff all over her butt was. If I were Mom, I'd get rid of the dog....or at least take it to the Vet. If she can't bear to get him neutered, at least get his nails trimmed and do something about his breath. ;)

Wheezer

I get the feeling that people think this story is one of my flash pieces of fiction. It's not! What would you do with the dog?

Dominions Son

@Wheezer

I get the feeling that people think this story is one of my flash pieces of fiction. It's not! What would you do with the dog?


Find him a new home with a mature female owner. :)

docholladay

@Wheezer

I get the feeling that people think this story is one of my flash pieces of fiction. It's not! What would you do with the dog?


Hard to say, but I would try to learn how the dog has been trained and get it separated from the kids at least until I had all the info needed. Final decision based on the information gathered.

graybyrd

@Wheezer

Neuter the dog lest there be puppies!

Bondi Beach

@Wheezer

I get the feeling that people think this story is one of my flash pieces of fiction. It's not! What would you do with the dog?


Show him how to do it right. Let the daughter watch, if she wants to, but explain to her she'll have to wait a few years before trying it herself.

bb

awnlee jawking

@Wheezer

What would you do with the dog?


Shoot a romantic movie co-starring Miley Cyrus? ;)

AJ

Switch Blayde

@awnlee jawking

Shoot a romantic movie co-starring Miley Cyrus? ;)


But who will play the little girl?

Replies:   Wheezer  REP
Wheezer

@Switch Blayde

But who will play the little girl?


Bwaaaaahahahahahaha! :D

Dominions Son

@awnlee jawking

Shoot a romantic movie co-starring Miley Cyrus? ;)


Who get's the job of fluffing the dog so he can fake it with Miley Cyrus?

Replies:   Wheezer  Switch Blayde
Wheezer
Updated:

@Dominions Son


Who get's the job of fluffing the dog so he can fake it with Miley Cyrus?


Well, if he fakes it, then he will not need a fluffer. Otherwise, hire some brainless poodle...
Oh, wait...we've already got Miley.

Replies:   Dominions Son
Switch Blayde

@Dominions Son

I once saw a cartoon of the filming of a porn movie. It was drawn from the back of two director chairs that were facing the action.

One chair said: DIRECTOR
The other one said: ERECTOR

Wheezer

Just an update, but I haven't seen that dog for two days.

Dominions Son

@Wheezer

Oh, wait...we've already got Miley.


Even a dog couldn't get it up for that skank.

Replies:   Switch Blayde
Switch Blayde

@Dominions Son

Even a dog couldn't get it up for that skank.


You missed the joke. Miley's the dog.

Lostlady

@awnlee jawking

I take it nobody is impressed with Miley.

Replies:   awnlee jawking
awnlee jawking

@Lostlady

She comes over as too desperate to shock. I know she needed to evolve from the saccharine Hannah Montana persona but she really needs to fire her PR team and recruit advisers willing to consider her long-term interests.

AJ

Replies:   Dominions Son
REP
Updated:

@Switch Blayde


But who will play the little girl?


Trump :)

Dominions Son

@awnlee jawking

She comes over as too desperate to shock.


It's something that has happened to most of the Disney female child stars.

Even after they age out of their Disney roles, the public doesn't want to let go of the perfect angel next door persona and as a result, they have trouble finding adult roles.

Because of the difficulty finding adult roles, they get into drugs and overtly sexual public behavior to prove that they are now adults.

Though Miley Cyrus has taken it farther than most.

Replies:   Wheezer
Wheezer

@Dominions Son


Though Miley Cyrus has taken it farther than most.


At least she hasn't released an explicit sex tape. Or if she did, nobody paid it any attention...

awnlee_jawking
Updated:

@awnlee jawking

Shoot a romantic movie co-starring Miley Cyrus? ;)


Someone might have just dashed off a short story based on this concept ;)

AJ

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