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January 23, 2007
Posted at 12:10 am

What in the WORLD is he doing?!

For those of you who are wondering just what in the world has happened to good old B.O.B, this blog entry is designed to explain it.

After a period of rest (medical problems that wouldn't be put off any longer) during the holidays ... actually, even before then to some degree ... I got this wild hair to try something different.

Now, "different" is, in reality, a matter of degree. It's sort of in the eye of the beholder. The TV program "CIS" is, for most people, something very different, or was when it first started airing. But for real law enforcement personnel, who have done that sort of thing in real life for years and years, it's just business as usual. Nothing different about it, excepting, of course, the poetic license the writers use to make all those dazzling science things look like they can be done in an hour, and that the same guy who collects the evidence actually does the examinations on it. That's pure horse pucky. It makes for good TV, but it's horse pucky. Trust me on that.

But I digress.

I was doing some reading, and happened upon about a zillion stories in the general category of "cheating". I have to confess here that, once in a while, I get a little tittilated with a cheating story. But, as I read one, after another, I realized that they were all the same, written in about three general categories.

Some of them have an out-of-control woman, who can't help but cheat. Some have a husband who, for some reason, can't get off unless some other guy is doing his wife. Then there are the ones, commonly called "wimp husband" stories, where the husband not only has to let his wife cheat, he has to be throughly debased in the process. I guess you could also argue there's a fourth style, in which a huge guy, commonly black, with a huge dick, ruins the woman so that she can't possibly enjoy her husband any more.

While reading these stories, I came to the conclusion that, depending on which of the three or four scenarios you are reading, they were all pretty much the same.

Then it occured to me that, way back when, before I was an author, when I was reading pregnancy stories, I noticed the same thing. That, in fact, is why I started writing pregnancy stories. I wanted to read something different. Same genre, but with a different feel.

So I said to myself: "Self, there should be a way to write a cheating story in which nobody gets hurt or debased, and the woman ends up still loving her husband, and the husband still feels like a real man."

I said it out loud. My wife gave me the oddest look.

Anyway, "The Masters Project" was the result. Then, during the break I took to visit many beautiful hospitals and doctor's offices, I thought up "Be Careful What You Ask For", which is clothed in 'the usual story', but which is actually a satire of the whole genre.

Well, OK, it was SUPPOSED to be a satire. I got a lot of mail from people who took it seriously and informed me that cheating is a horrible thing to do and wrecks lives.

I'm glad they wrote to me about that. I hadn't thought of that before.

Um ... that was satire too ... OK?

Now, with my latest story, called "The Honeymoon Blues" I think I may have finally gotten this cheating thing out of my system.

That said, The Honeymoon Blues is not actually a story about cheating. People will THINK it is about cheating, but it isn't. If I told you why, it would ruin the story. If you read this blog after I've posted the whole story, and you've already read it, you're nodding your head right now, saying "He's right ... it wasn't about cheating."

By the way ... don't say that out loud when your wife is within hearing range.

Oops! Too late? Don't worry. She'll get over it.

The point is that my writing (or your writing or his/her writing) writing should be different, if at all possible, from what everybody else is writing. Since there are a finite number of ideas around in the smut industry, and since all of them have been written about literally countless times, what challenges me is to take an idea, knowing it isn't original, and then give it an original twist of some kind. Freshen it up. Kick it in the ass and make it sing.

What I want the reader to say, when done, is something along the lines of "Wow, it was an old, tired plot idea, but I like the way he handled it." I also get a kick out of "Now THAT was worth the time it took to read it!"

So, do not despair when you find that I have posted something outside my "specialty". All that means is that I'm exercising my brain, so that I can then use my rejuvenated brain to think up new and fresh ways to write pregnancy stories of the type you have come to expect from good old B.O.B.

As always, thanks for reading.