This week with Arlene and Jeff:
...Just before daylight, he woke. With faint tendrils of moonlight still leaking into the cave, he crept across the floor until he was bending over the sleeping hen, and at the top of his lungs, screamed into her ear, "WAKE UP AND PISS! THE WORLD'S ON FIRE!"
He had thought that Gertrude's squawk was loud before, but it paled in comparison to what she emitted this time. Chicks scattered in every direction, and the hen, flapping her wings wildly, flew/ran a few feet before she realized she wasn't under attack. It was a good thing it was mostly dark in the cave, he decided, or her stare might have caused him to die on the spot.
As the dust, bits of straw and chicken feathers began to settle, a laughing Morales collapsed on his ass. Even Lobo chuckled for some time.
Slapping the dust from the seat of his pants, Morales staggered to his feet still chuckling occasionally as he switched the lantern on. "Vwaaannkkk," he squawked out, trying to imitate the hen's squawks.
She emitted a muffled and barely heard response, then strutted over and made a production of shitting in the middle of the cave floor. After glaring at him again, she gathered her brood about her and settled back on her nest...
Have a goodun;