This week with Arlene and Jeff:
"What the fuck," Morales mumbled as he bolted upright to see the hen standing ten feet or so away glaring at him, her body silhouetted by the first rays of the morning sunlight leaking through the cave entrance.
"What the fuck do you want?" he grumbled as he grabbed his pants and shirt before she could shit on them.
"Vwaack," she squawked.
Hurrying to put his clothes on as the hen continued to glare at him, "I should have gotten one of the other hens. You must be the fucking mother-in-law," he muttered as he finished buttoning the shirt, then grabbed his boots as the hen eyed them.
"Puck, puck, puck," she seemed to contentedly say as she scratched in the dirt and pecked at something, not backing up an inch as the human came a little nearer to sit on his favorite rock and pull on his boots.
"First you scream at me, then when I get up you scratch in the dirt and act contented. I should let your ass starve for shitting on me," he mumbled while Lobo chuffed in the background. Grabbing an ear of corn, he shelled off a handful of grains and tossed them on the ground near the chicken's water. She descended on the corn greedily while keeping a beady eye on Morales.
"Oh, so you pretend to be scared of me, but you sure aren't bashful about asking for breakfast. Did you lay an egg last night?" he asked as he walked toward her nest.
With the help of her wings, she beat him to the nest by a good margin, squawking at him as she passed. When she landed, she whirled to face him, fluttering her wings and raising the feathers on the back of her neck.
"You ungrateful bitch," he groused. "I just fed you and yet you act like you're going to attack me. You're fucking psychotic." Whether he liked it or not, it was obvious that her nest was off limits.
"Peeccckkkak. Peeccckkkak," she Squawked triumphantly as he walked away...
Have a goodun;