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Well, that generated an interesting set of responses

July 30, 2015
Posted at 7:30 am

I have to admit that I got a bit more feedback than usual with my latest few chapters and it was surprisingly negative. Obviously I don't entirely agree with the feedback, but I also felt that it would serve the readers better if I posted my thoughts here rather than potentially having to respond to multiple e-mails or having someone with a similar thought not send me mail.

The complaints appear to have 3 different issues.

1) Jessica and her friends talk about orgies too much:
First I never describe these for a reason. Jessica and her companions Kathy and Milli do enjoy sex and they have had multiple men over, however they also like to exaggerate the situation as they are trying to tease Jason and Mark. I've written those scenes mostly to show their growing confidence in each other, not just to be a jerk.

2) The football is over emphasized:
Honestly, the football scenes were a bit more than I planned, but I felt that I had to show that Jason and Mark were naturally aggressive and could work in a team. Also the team situation allowed me to show some of the social politics I expect anyone would have faced in that situation. Overall I can say that the football fades after chapter 40 when the timeline starts to move into late fall and winter.

3) That the bullying of Mark and company is too much and they don't fight back:
This one made me pause for a moment. First, any fighting back Mark does will only get him in trouble and removed from school, which is absolutely what he doesn't want. He sees his role partly to be a lightning rod for some of the anger as he has a nice built in social support network, so the emotional and social bullying really can't get to him.
Also I remember high school and college and honestly, what Mark is facing is to my memory rather mild. His support network really keeps most of the bullying from being more than an inconvenience.