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March 3, 2015
Posted at 2:13 pm

Chapter 11

All sorts of interesting items to write about this time. For one thing, Chapter 10 had more typos than the rest of the story combined. Sorry about that.

I received some interesting questions concerning the Sin of Sodom, so many so, in fact, that I was surprised. It certainly never occurred to me that I might have to explain sodomy in 2015. I even had readers ask me if that was getting to second base or third base, or something else. Here's a quick primer on sexual deviancy, legal-wise.

The Sin of Onan refers to Genesis, Chapter 38, where Onan decides to not knock up his widowed sister-in-law by pulling out and 'spilling his seed'. Since then it has almost universally meant jerking off.

The Sin of Sodom is extremely questionable. The way most laws were written, sodomy was a horrible crime, but it was so horrible that the specifics were too awful to actually enumerate. Depending on the jurisdiction, sodomy included oral sex, anal sex, homosexual sex, non-vaginal heterosexual sex, and heterosexual sex between unmarried couples. Even certain positions for vaginal sex were considered sodomy (missionary position was legal, doggy-style was illegal.) Most laws simply prohibited (with significant penalties!) any form of 'unnatural sex', 'immoral sex', or 'crime against nature'. Needless to say, it was almost impossible to actually figure out a precise definition.

Interestingly, while the Supreme Court had struck down almost all sodomy laws by the time I am writing about, these laws are actually still on the books. The way the American legal system works, if there is an unconstitutional law on the books, it stays there until a court specifically throws it out. So, even though a sodomy law might be on the books and be unconstitutional, unless somebody is actually arrested, booked, charged, and goes to trial, the law will not be thrown out. Since no district attorney in modern America, regardless of the local morality, is going to charge somebody with getting a blowjob, there are still over a dozen states with anti-sodomy statutes on the books.

First base, etc. is a bit more questionable. It seems like every town, school, and ball field has a different definition of what getting to a particular base involves. The best listing I found was in Wikipedia, and pretty much matched the way I learned back when dinosaurs ruled the Earth. First base was kissing, second base was touching above the waist (you got to her boobs), third base was you got to touch below the waist (stinkfinger, but no further, what was called heavy petting when I was a kid), and home plate was vaginal sexual intercourse. Theoretically oral sex would be third base, not that I ever recall hearing it that way. On a totally different note, I've only heard the bases discussed by guys. Is there a ladies version that differs? Just curious.

Let's get real specific here folks! Kelly gave Grim a hummer, and then he had a box lunch.

Finally, I made a major legal faux pas in Chapter 9, one which I avoided in A Fresh Start. A confession even to simple battery, a misdemeanor, would still be admissible in civil court in a suit for damages. Changing the confession to disturbing the peace avoids that and doesn't require a major edit. Thanks, Jim Burt!