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More anonymous idiots

September 3, 2005
Posted at 1:52 am

I sometimes get lectured about parts of my stories that are "incorrect" or "not real". For instance I was corrected by somebody in the medical field who said it impossible for a penis to penetrate through the cervix into the womb. The fact that I, personally, have been able to penetrate my own wife's cervix with a finger suggests there may be different truths at work in the world. I also got corrected by a female reader that cervical contact is painful and women don't like it. The fact that, when I penetrate my own wife's cervix during foreplay makes her crazy horny suggests that not all women respond to stimuli the same.

That's OK. Different strokes for different folks is my motto.

But when I get "corrected" by some idiot who is ignorant of stated facts ... well ... I'm old and cranky, right?

The latest correction came from another one of those people who won't leave a valid email address so I can respond directly. This was in relation to my description of one of the women in "King Dong" getting so stuffed with sperm that it "flushed up into the fallopian tubes".

The comment was "Sperm in the fallopian tube is bad!"

Now it is possible that this person is not really an idiot, but is only confused, and was referring to an Ectopic pregnancy, where the fertilized egg implants in the fallopian tube, instead of in the uterus, where it belongs. Ectopic pregnancies are, in fact, bad.

But the fact of the matter is that MOST eggs are fertilized while they are still INSIDE the fallopian tube, and then they enter the womb, where they implant.

That means that sperm, inside the fallopian tube, is not only OK, but quite likely necessary for a pregnancy to take place. When you're talking about single cells, the womb is a big place, and, my stories notwithstanding, the usual amount of sperm available to fertilize a tiny little egg in a great big uterus is not good odds for conception. But, let those little swimmers get up into the fallopian tube, and they almost HAVE to bump into the egg as it comes down.

Now, the idiot I am referring to may not take my word for this. Fine. Here's one source of routine information for people who are trying to get pregnant.

It says quite clearly that the egg is "usually" fertilized in the fallopian tube. There are only sixty thousand other sites out there with the same information.

And, for all you gutless wonders out there who are quivering in your boots at the thought of the big bad author actually answering your mail ... get a Hotmail email account. Use a fake name, like I do. Then read your mail and you might not sound like an idiot any more.

Lovingly yours