Okay chapter 5 is still being a pain to the point I set it aside and started to review my emails again as I had gotten one with lot of editing remarks. 2 Issues I received in the email I will post here and explain why I did not fix them
1> repetitive lazy use of integers as in math.
Okay I was a MATH major, so when I think of a number guess what I see in my mind... and as a hint it as not a freaking word. I see a number and when I read I sometimes have a hell of a time converting words into numbers in my mind so when i write I type out a number and saying a number. if this does not work for you sorry but at this point I write for my enjoyment and allow you to read it also. sure I get some good feelings for positive feedback, but I am not going to make it hard for me to read my work to make it easier for you. Go asking Steven to rewrite his books about black holes and replace all those numbers with words and write me when you get a positive response.
2>new Master uneeded capital - new master -it
is a common noun.
In the story there are master a common noun and then their your Master a title and when Lucas is taking about Johnathan to the girls he is using it as a title hence the capital.
Lastly I read just about 75% of the stories I see on this site. From American or British writers, and a lot of British writers make it a point, I suppose cause this site is on this side of the pond, to say they are British and to forgive them for turn of phrases that you don't understand. Okay I get it, but I don't need the warning I started reading this site due to a British writer. But when a British writer whose postings I have read and not commented on even though they are dry even compared to other British writers standards, starts to correct the American phrases I use it puts a burr under my saddle<an American phrase>.
For everyone else sorry for the rant Please have a wonderful week and I hope to have either a rewrite of chapter 1 or chapter 5 done by Friday.