Chandra: Blog

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August 3, 2011
Posted at 7:09 pm

You think it’s easy being a Jewish American Princess?

It starts with an attitude of entitlement. I'm a JAP and you're not. The thing is, like being a guru or some great leader…you can't let down your guard. Always the game face. Always on. I'm entitled. And woe to the man who doesn't get it because if he doesn't get it, he doesn't get "it". What's "it"? Hellooo.

You WILL open my door. You WILL pay for my meals. You WILL buy me jewelry. (OK, I'm not into jewelry but a lot of them are.) You WILL grovel for sex. (OK, that's not me either but I'm trying to make a point here.) And if you think I'm going to swallow….better buy me the home of my dreams first and it better be in the "right" neighborhood. Not my problem if you can't afford it.

You like big tits? You pay for them. You like Angelina Joli lips? You pay for them. You don't like middle age spread? You pay to have it sucked out. Otherwise, kiss my ass. Oh, and if you expect me to have your kids, you'd better hire a nanny, because I'm not dragging your crying, sniveling, whining, shitting, vomiting little brats along when I have my hair or my nails done. And when my mother comes to visit? You'd better be nice to her or it'll be the last time this year you get laid. And speaking of getting laid….if I see that the ceiling needs painting, I won't even fake my orgasms, you inadequate worm, until it's done.

And by the way...we'd better belong to the "right" temple, because I'm not going to be seen in a second rate synagogue on the holidays.

And why do I expect to be treated like this? Because I'm entitled. After all…I'm a Jewish American Princess and if you don't treat me in the style to which I expect...I'll emasculate you, you sniveling excuse for a man.

And you know what's really outrageous? A lot of them are really like this.

Here's to fun blogs and I hope you're having a great day.

Chandra JAP (a little)