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June 28, 2010
Posted at 9:19 am
 

New Story

Hello boys and girls. It's so good to see you again.

I have started posting a new story and I know that many of you make plans about when and how to read my stories, so I thought I'd give you some information about it.

Can you say "You're a sterling fellow, Bob?"

I thought you could.

This was (still is at the moment) a difficult story for me. Not the writing part. I love that. But every story has to have a title, and to be honest, boys and girls, Bob sucks a big green hachee at thinking up titles.

So I hate the title of this story. Hate is a strong word, though, and not one that we should bandy about carelessly. Perhaps I should have said I'm very disappointed in myself for not being able to think up a decent title.

If you read the foreword to the story you'll see that I stole this idea from a very nice author named TheMoose63. Isn't that a funny name? It's almost as funny as Lubrican.

Anyway, TheMoose63 wrote a story I liked very much and he had a very nice title for his story. So if I stole the idea for the story from him, why didn't I steal his title too?

That's a good question, boys and girls, and I'm going to tell you.

It's because I don't want it to be obvious that I'm a thief!

But, because I suck so much at thinking up titles, the only thing I could think of to call my version of his story was "Camping With Jill."

I know you're laughing at me, because if you've read the story you know her name isn't Jill. It's Wendy! Well you can stop laughing. When I first started the story her name was Jill.

That brings up another reason this story has been difficult. Besides sucking at thinking up titles, I also suck at thinking up original names for characters. That's why so many of the men in my stories are named Bob.

You didn't think that all these stories were actually about me did you? That would be really funny if that was true. But of course it's not. It's just easier to remember my own name, that's all. And I can spell it right nine times out of ten too. That's a real plus when you're an author.

Is it beginning to sound like maybe good old Uncle Bob should think about being something other than an author?

Too bad. You're stuck with me.

Anyway, after I wrote the story I got to thinking about how I use the name "Jill" in a lot of my stories. And I worried that people might think badly of me for that. So I changed the name to Cathy.

Except one of the wives of one of the twins in the story already had that name, so that wouldn't work.

So I changed her name to Caitlin. But "Camping With Caitlin" didn't sound right. And "Aunt Caitlin" doesn't roll off the tongue very well. But the real problem was that one of the nicknames for Caitlin is "Kate" and I knew a woman named Kate one time who I didn't care for all that much.

I know, I know. I should have thought of the nickname "Cat" and used that. But I didn't think of that until this morning, which was too late. The point is that Caitlin wasn't working for me, even though I love that name.

So I named her Wendy. Did you know Wendy didn't exist as a name until J. M. Barrie invented it in his book about Peter Pan? Aren't I just full of interesting tidbits of information, boys and girls?

Can you say "Uncle Bob is full of it?"

I thought you could.

Anyway, I decided her name was going to be Wendy. I was going to think up a new name for Bobby too, but I think you can see why I didn't.

But "Camping With Wendy" didn't seem very original too, and was awfully close to what TheMoose63 called his story. And, as I said, I didn't want to be blatant about stealing from him.

So I needed a new title.

It needed the word "camp" in it somewhere, since that's a major part of the plot. But the only thing I could think of was "Campground Awakening."

Now "awakening" is a code word in the erotica industry for someone discovering sex, or some kind of sex act, for the first time, and reeeeeally liking it. And that fits, but it isn't very original. There are about a zillion stories out there with the word "awakening" in the title. And I like to think I'm very original. Even though I have a "Bob" in every story and finding a new name for a female is a major undertaking.

So I'm not happy about the title. And I wanted you to know that, because that way, if you're not happy with the title too, we can smile and laugh about it and maybe you won't vote me a zero.

Oh yes. The story is a relatively short one, five chapters, and I'll turn voting on when I post chapter five.

I almost forgot that part.

Which is why I decided to write a blog entry in the first place.

* Sigh *

Bob is having a difficult day, boys and girls. I think I'll go have a glass of whiskey. You can't have any because it's not good for kids. But you can have a nice artificially flavored, artificially dyed, loaded-with-sugar, preservative filled fake fruit drink.

In fact, have two or three before you read my story.

Goodbye for now, boys and girls. And remember!

I like you just the way you are.

Unless you're naked and under the age of thirteen, which would make me a dirty old man, which I'm not, so if you're naked I like you just the way you are when you have clothes on.

Bob