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March 5, 2010
Posted at 4:25 pm
Updated: March 5, 2010 - 5:34 pm

Hello friends and internet neighbors. Thank you for your patience while I was gone.

I'll start posting a short story (three chapters) on Monday, the 8th of March. While I was gone I was still writing, but in a very strange and different way than I usually write. And what I found out when I decided to just go back to you and me, was that I was a little rusty.

Not only that, but the first thing that yelled at me to be written was something completely out of left field. It wasn't even in my projects folder. What happened was that, one night, I was sitting there with the TV muted during a commercial and I realized that even though the TV was muted, I knew exactly what they were saying. It was an ED commercial which, besides having men on it who are ten or twenty years younger than I am, sort of screams at the male viewer "YOU'RE DICK IS GONNA BREAK SOONER OR LATER BUT IF YOU START USING US NOW YOU'LL NEVER KNOW!"

But the part I had memorized from the bazillion times I've been bombarded with these commercials when there was no mute button to push, was the part about how, if you "experience an erection" for more than four hours, to call a doctor immediately because this is a dire situation.

Interesting way to talk about a boner isn't it? Have you "experienced" your boner lately? You'd think that kind of language would refer to the ladies. They're the ones who "experience" a boner.

But I digress.

Anyway, when I realized I had the fricking commercial memorized, a story leapt out at me, because I had to find out why it's such a dire situation if you have a persistent erection.

So I wrote a story, originally titled The Four Day Erection.

Except that in my research, I found out you can't have an erection for four days (at least the same erection) because your cock will turn black and die and they have to amputate it.

Turns out it IS a dire situation, huh!

So, I couldn't call it The Four Day Erection any more. I settled on two days, which is also impossible, but there's a twist in the story to make it possible, and that's what I'm going to post next week, one chapter each on Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

Of course while I was writing it I thought of a different version (don't you just hate that!?) but instead of making an alpha and bravo version the titles are just a little different, the second one being The Four Hour Erection, which is a nod to the original concept. With me, original concepts almost never survive the attacks my imagination throws at them, but in this case I decided that four hour erection they talk about just had to be in it's own story.

That story will be posted the following week and will be called "a companion piece" to the first one.

I love talking like that. It sounds so swave and deboner.

So there you go. For all of you who patiently let me go through the motions I needed to go through to get that little piece of business dealt with, I thank you. I hope these two initial stories after the hiatus aren't too weird. They're just warm-ups for the stuff I put on the back burner so I could curse at the publishers for a while.

There would be a murder mystery about a bunch of publishers being offed ... but I couldn't think of any erotic way to do it, so I'll let a real mystery writer tackle that one.

Thanks for reading,