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The Golden Clitorides Awards

January 7, 2008
Posted at 12:13 pm
Updated: January 8, 2008 - 1:50 pm

I find myself in a bit of a weird and sticky situation here.

If you don't know what the Golden Clitoride awards are, this won't make much sense. If that's the case, you might want to check out Lazeez's blog entry on that and get educated. What follows is for the rest of you.

Back in 2005, I got a Golden Clitoride award for Best New Author. I got some others for other things too, so I know what it feels like to be honored in that way.

Yesterday, though, I got an email from an author who had written a story I liked, and to whom I had written telling him that. His email reminded me that I'd liked his story, and asked me to nominate it for a specific Golden Clitoride category.

It was a form letter, and it was obvious he sent it to other readers too.

Now my first thoughts were not complimentary. I thought about high school, and the elections for class president scenario. I didn't like politics then, and I'm no fan of it now.

At the same time, I remember what it was like to be recognized and awarded for my efforts.

My own personal opinion about this kind of thing is that if you're good enough, and people like what you've done enough, then maybe some of them will nominate one of your stories for something. And if they don't ... well, they liked somebody else's stuff better.

I can live with that.

At the same time, I remember what it felt like to get an award.

You see the problem?

I'm not going to ask you to nominate me for anything. It may look like I'm doing that in an underhanded way by writing this blog entry ... but I'm not. Really.

What AM asking you to do is think back on the stories you've read ... by whoever ... and think about the best stuff you saw. It's not even fair for me to say that if a story made you laugh, or cry, or chase your significant other around the kitchen table, you should nominate that story for an award. I specialize in stories that are designed to make you laugh, or cry or chase your significant other here or there, while making lewd suggestions.

But so do others. And others also specialize in things I don't. The reason I wrote to that author about his story was becasue it was good, and I liked it. I couldn't write the kind of story he wrote, but I liked his story.

So think about the stories you've read and nominate some authors. In fact, nominate different authors for the same award, if you can. I don't care about the competition part of it. But stories that get nominated sometimes get more readers, and that's good for everybody, whether they win or not.

I will tell you that the way the Clits work is that initial nominations for stories are like votes. The more often a story gets nominated, the more likely it will be that that story ends up on the ballot, when it comes out. So when you go look at the nominations (and you should do that, because you'll find out about some very good stories you might not have read) don't think that just because a story has already been nominated that there's nothing for you to do.

Recognize the authors that turn you on. If it's not me, that's fine. I understand I don't appeal to everybody. But SOMEBODY trips your trigger, hopefully, and that's who you should support and honor.

I'll also remind you that there are rules, and you need to be aware of those. For stories to be elligible they have to have been written and finished in 2007, for all intents and purposes. A whole bunch of you nice people have complimented me on the "Making of a Gigolo" series, for instance, but it isn't elligible for anything because it spanned both 2007 and 2008. So read the rules and make your vote count for something.

And so, in conclusion, I'm not asking you to vote for me for class president. In fact, I don't even think we need a class president. Go vote for a good author instead. That kind of encouragement might get you more good stuff to read.