http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2008/8/15burns.html
if H.P. Lovecraft wrote copy for Whitman's Samplers...
i am in love:
http://www.crazymonkeygames.com/Mad-Monday.html
my brain hurts... so bad... intracranial bleeding... must open a new hole in my head... release the BOREWORMS!
http://www.cracked.com/article_16554_5-most-baffling-sex-scenes-in-history-fanfiction.html
and then it got worse... the Boreworms feel nice... friendly... not sure why Princess Aura feared them so... warm really...
http://www.notafishinglure.com/SinCity.html
a wonderful 'daily photo' blog from a photographer i find out lives right here in austin... well worth going through the archives as well...
http://stuckincustoms.com/
while in the middle of reading "Wastelands: Stories of the Apocalypse" (full review coming later), i found myself absolutely enchanted by Elizabeth Bear's "And the Deep Blue Sea", a story that left me smiling and hopeful (circumstances not often present at the end of apocalyptic stories). wrote her a moderately gushy fan email this morning, just got her response. i can already tell you that if your literary tastes can stretch to apocalyptic tales, you NEED to read this book, and her story in particular (although all so far have been very good). as i said earlier, a more full review later... when i finish it.
and on the writing front, heard back from the editor at Loose Id clarifying my understanding of what she wants in a revision of "First Star", so work can begin on that soon. in addition, the number of story ideas occuring to me lately is a little scary. now all i have to do is write them.
ok, "Wonderfalls" on DVD... i'm understanding why this quirky little gem of a show only lasted one season. too clever, too oddball and altogether too... snarky... to survive. recommended highly if you have a taste for the odd.
Olympic Opening Ceremonies - OMFG! it's absolutely amazing what multi-millions of dollars, an endless supply of people and a helluva film director can do! i don't think i'll see their equal in my lifetime. as i was watching i was pitying anyone responsible for designing any Olympic opening ceremonies to come... without all three of those factors in the equation i think these ceremonies are gonna remain the best ever. generally, in every other opening ceremony, there's one moment, one part of the ceremony that, in my humble opinion, doesn't work, that's off in some way... that doesn't ring true. the Beijing Games Opening Ceremonies never missed a beat, never slipped a step. glorious, wonderful, beautiful... the only opening ceremonies i'd like to have a copy of on dvd. sure there was some 'dramatic license'... but for what they achieved, that's okay.
American Mens Gymnastics Team taking the Bronze - THAT'S what winning an Olympic medal should look like! i get extremely tired of disappointed medal winners in Silver or Bronze that look like they were just served shit soup because they didn't finish higher. it's the goddamn Olympics, you just medaled. the world is full of athletes who DREAM of being where you are, competing in the games. and you MEDALED! fuck your expectations, you're an Olympic Champion! at least have the good grace to look happy... better yet, find the ecstasy that the American Mens team displayed. they took Bronze and celebrated like it was Gold. well done, men.
Womens Gymnastics All-Around - wow, the way the judging was going, it looked like the Chinese had bribed the judges in vault, uneven bars and balance beam, but didn't feel they needed to worry about the judges for floor exercise. they were mistaken, they should have spent the extra money. don't get me wrong, i'm not a homer. i don't want the US judged as better than they are, i just want fair judging all across the board. if a mistake is a deduction for one team, it's a deduction for all teams and they should be applied equally across the event. the first three appartatus' were judged abominably. floor exercise judging was a redemption. and yes, i'd still feel that way even if the US hadn't taken Gold & Silver.
Rowdy Gaines, Tim Daggett and whoever the women commentator is in diving - SHUT THE FUCK UP! God, if i could i'd have someone there punch all of you in the throat until you stop spewing inanities, bullshit and 'expert opinions' that are very frequently proven wrong within seconds of you making the statements. they pay you all WAY too much and you should quit talking like they're paying you by the word.
an additional word to Rowdy and his partner in swimming commentary: Michael Phelps is a phenom, he's amazing, he is the best swimmer in the world but there is a metric fuckton (or more) of other athletes in the swimming competitions, talk about them. especially if it's a race Michael's not even in. or is the WRONG GODDAMN SEX TO COMPETE IN! talk about the people in the race. ALL of them. try, for a change, talking about whatever poor ignored muthafucka is in the goddamn LEAD AS YOU SPEAK! i realize that NBC wants its viewers to feel it's paying sufficient attention to America's champions, but goddamn, get over this "Michael Phelps Mania". he doesn't need your help or praise to be remarkable. but the rest of the field could use your help to become better known.
and as another side note: Michael is, undoubtedly, exceedingly talented. however, where two of the races in his march to glory are concerned, he's also one of the luckiest people on the planet. the 4x100m freestyle relay, Jason Lezak saved the medal run for him, by .08 of a second and his 100m butterfly win, by .01 of a second, was a godsend. yes, there was a lot of smart swimming involved... but there was also a lot of luck.
judging events, especially at the Olympic level should be a science. it is evident that the gymnastic and on the winter side, skating federations want to keep it an arcane art, so that reprehensible shit like Fei Cheng of China beating out Alicia Sacramone for the Bronze can continue to happen. and by no means get me started again on the team competition judging on the vault, uneven bars and balance beam. there should be a mechanism where the judges can be held accountable for obvious bullshit. hell, if nothing else, call it the 'Shenanigans Protest'!
Poor Bob, that fucker always has the sucky luck.
Chapter 43, finally, is being sent up to SOL. Might make it up tonight, courtesy of the vigilant and dedicated Lazeez, will probably be up sometime tomorrow morning. It's different than even the version posted to the Yahoo group in a few ways, one of them rather nifty I think.
Elsewhere in the news, folks, I'm serious as a heart attack here: "The Middleman" on ABCFamily is the show you should be watching weekly, every week, religiously, that you're probably not. Trust me, this is inspired insanity, well worth your time.
well, the good news: 42 pages of chapter 43 are in the hands of my proofer, Staci, and the members of the Yahoo group. hopefully i've reached a good pausing point and a nice enough climax to keep folks happy while i finish the party out in ch. 44.
more good news: the rough ideas for the proposed six remaining stories in the "last exit before a dead end" series have been put down 'on paper' and now need only be finished... a long process i'm sure.
y'know, except for number one, i could REALLY get behind these guidelines... and i suspect number one will ev eventually be taken care of by nature herself:
http://www.worldnetdaily.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=70792
and because, in a reasoned, rational fashion, these make sense, they offend Christians. "Satanic"! :: snorts in derision ::
and because poor Scott Edelman (currently edits both Science Fiction Weekly (www.scifi.com/sfw/), the internet magazine of news, reviews and interviews, and SCI FI, the official print magazine of the SCI FI Channel) is already posting this as fact - and i'm sure others will as well:
http://againwiththecomics.blogspot.com/2008/07/young-watchmen-animated-adventures.html
PLEASE NOTE: after several blank lines, at the bottom of the article, the following line: "*Not really. I totally made this up. But just give them time…"
"Road House" courtesy of AMC - god, this is a gloriously bad movie, every bit as enjoyable as all the times i've watched it previously. some things, you know... they're just what they are. this film is just what it is... bad, cheesy and thoroughly enjoyable for all that. and of course, i can no longer watch it without remembering Bill Hicks' line about it... something about bouncers masturbating while watching it... "Huhuhuh... Patrick Swayze's about to beat somebody..."
this morning (friday) i awoke from a dream which i just had to share with y'all, in hopes that someone can shed some light on the deep inner meaning:
at an auditorium in a small British village, early '90's, David Bowie (looking like they had to apply the electrodes to get him up out of his coffin) is auditioning the local constabulary for the leads in a BBC reality series about a small community's police force. he's having to hurry, though, because the auditorium is supposed to handed over to another group in just a few minutes. the other group would be Robert Goulet and his fellow cast members doing a musical version of "The Lord of the Rings" trilogy. Bowie tells Goulet that he should give up on it, "those elfs and magic rings and such will never amount to anything".
then i woke up.
'splain it to me, Loocy!
less-than-ecstatic-realization: i'd set the word count for the eventual compilation of the 'last exit before a dead end' stories at 70,000. that's what i'm shooting for.
what i've gotten written so far? about 15,200...
:: sigh ::
The Ten Mental Illnesses Batman Indisputably Has:
http://www.toplessrobot.com/2008/07/the_10_mental_illnesses_batman_clearly_has.php
courtesy of the Great State of Texas finally coming through with Dorris' unemployment (despite attempts by Wolf-of-the-Tiniest-Penis-in-Creation to deny her several weeks of payments by trying to play word games with the letter they had her sign), we've felt a little easier in the money department and have been patronizing the Alamo to catch up on some summer movie fun.
"Hellboy II: The Golden Army" in theaters - damn my need for instant gratification! enjoyed this film so much that i walked out of the theater going "Okay, where's the third goddamn film? I want it now!" del Toro continues to amaze me, can NOT wait to see what he does with 'The Hobbit' (not sure, in any sense of the word, about the 'second Hobbit film', which if i'm remembering correctly is supposed to occur between 'The Hobbit' and 'The Fellowship of the Ring'... time will tell, must trust Jackson and del Toro to not fuck us over...) a beautiful film, lots of fun, a little deeper character-wise than i was expecting, all to the good. plus one truly priceless scene of purest comedy... highly recommended, two enthusiastic thumbs up! (:: walks away humming "Can't Smile Without You" :: )
"Wanted" in theaters - NOT the graphic novel, but that's okay. the GN stands on its own, there's no way DC would EVER allow it to be filmed as written and the movie is a lot of 'completely-over-the-fucking-top' fun. belongs on a double bill with "Shoot 'Em Up" for pure action porn. loads of Gun-fu, lots of Angelina Jolie looking sexy (something she's oh-so-very-good at), beaucoup adrenaline. recommended, especially for those of a "bang-bang-BOOM-wheeeeeeee!" persuasion
"The Dark Knight" in theaters - holy fuck. 'Dark' barely begins to describe it.
let's get a few things straight. while 'Batman Begins' totally rocked, i think they wasted a beautiful villain in their re-imagining of Ras al Ghul. doesn't really bother me, the comics are the comics, the film is the film. in 'The Dark Knight', however, we have the Definitive Batman (pretty much established in the first film), the Definitive Alfred (same here), the Definitive Lucius Fox (same again), the Definitive Jim Gordon (only really established in 'TDK') and (thank you, JESUS) the Definitive Joker... along with a Harvey Dent/Two-Face i can live with, be moved by, cry for. Maggie Gyllenhaal is better as Rachel Dawes than Katie Holmes... further deponent sayeth not.
but let's get back to the Joker, shall we? yeah, i think Heath probably deserves a posthumous Oscar for the role... a lot will depend on the competition, but it's a superb performance, serving to highlight the industry's loss when Ledger died. every dark, chaotic, psychotic, manipulative inch of the Joker is beautifully brought to life. the only thing that could have possibly rounded out the portrayal any more was if he'd had a Robin to kill and a Barbara Gordon to cripple (i.e., 'A Death in the Family' and 'The Killing Joke'). but this leaves Christopher Nolan and the creative team in a real pickle for the next film. do you try fucking some actor in the ass by asking him to take over the role of the Joker? do you deal with some other villian, making only passing reference to the Joker, perhaps using the image of a cell door in Arkham with one of Heath's insane cackles coming from behind it? Batman has a rich rogue's gallery but c'mon, the Joker is the goddamn Joker! you could do Superman without Lex Luthor a LOT easier than you can do Batman without the Joker. it's gonna be a rough row to hoe, no matter which way they go and i wish them all the best.
this film is rated PG-13, not a lot of blood, but i'm still not sure it doesn't rate an 'R' just because of emotional violence. dark, yeah... a goddamn tragedy, full of ugly choices and human frailty. kudos to almost everyone in the cast and crew (sorry Maggie) for bringing their 'A' games, plus even more. highly recommended, well worth whatever you have to do to see it.