I noticed a technical difficulty - where the entire chapters 1-87 are no longer available and clicking the link to Hard Times takes the reader to chapter 88 only.
My apologies. I've let the webmasters know and hopefully they will have it fixed in a jiffy.
I am working on Hard Times exclusively but every now and then I wonder about the Taylors from Family Feud.
I have thought about writing a short story "Letters from the Road" from Jamie Taylor's perspective about the trip to Indiana with her family right after the tail end of FF5.
What happens as they stop at rest stops and need gas money, or have a flat tire. Bill and Chris go off on foot to send back a tow truck and leave the girls to wait for it - what kinds of shenanigans might happen.
Would the discipline be loosened, and how the girls might react to being able to choose their own breakfast.
"You guys go ahead and order for me," Wendy says across the table at Denny's "It's been so long since I had a choice."
"C'mon mom, do you want pancakes, or eggs over my hammy, or.." Chris overwhelms her with choices.
"Seriously, Sir, please choose for me, I really don't know.."
"You don't have to call me Sir anymore,"
"I know sorry, could you give me a slap everytime I forget, Sir? I mean Chris...damnit."
That transformation they went through not quite over and how it will forever affect their relationships.
I might be willing to write something like that - soliciting ideas for road experiences?
If you are a fan of the Family Feud Universe you know that the stories are very long, involved tales where the subjects begin as just typical white-bread America and go on a slow evolution (or de-evolution) as life altering circumstances drag them into their current situation.
If you are not, then yes, that's basically what they are about. They are also about entertaining and that means making you horny, making you laugh, making you think, whatever fantasies they inspire is all good (as long as no one acts upon them, but thats implied).
Family Feud is the story of a "perfect" Middle American Family in an affluent Neighborhood. They start off with the women trying to change the men and make them better and in the end I think that is how it ends up for everyone. There is a lot of bondage, sex, humiliation, blackmail along the way.
Hard Times is my current story and it's in the "same Universe" - many of the characters from the story even find their way into this story. You will see in coming chapters that there is a thread with some of the side-characters all having known each other in the past and the incestuous results of their families coming together are what led to the creation of Cherry Lawn Estates (And the Buckman Trailer Park).
Hard Times is about a white-bread teenage girl from Cherry Lawn who has to move in with her Aunt's family in a massive trailer park in a neighboring poor county. She gets sucked into their scams and grifts and I think in the end is better for it (we'll see). There is lots of bondage, sex, humiliation, blackmail etc along the way as well.
I tell you this because I came up with an idea for a game. A game that may inspire readers and authors on SOL!!
I was watching one of those daytime talk shows and one of the subjects was a 40 year old man with a young teenage wife. He thought she loved him and then she asked if a "Friend" she went to high school could move in.
Naturally, she hung on her hubby and manipulated him into helping this guy out. In time, the man became friends with this guy and they hung out almost like father and son, as sort of a mentor. He was glad to help him out.
Then he finds out that she is sleeping with this guy, and that they have been mocking him behind his back and laughing at him. So he chases them out and has a big confrontation with his wife's mother who apparently wanted to get the two younger people together anyway and had known they were sweet hearts in high school but never revealed it to the older man.
I thought to myself "Fuck, this would make a fantastic story!! especially if we were to elaborate on it!"
This guy is living the Buckman story. He ends up opening an internet modeling business and hiring his ex-wife (who is now living with this guy) to model for him nude in very explicit shots and sort of cuckolding the young man.
He could easily be a "Neighbor down the Road from J street" on the Buckman.
So here is what I propose:
Record Three day time talk shows on your DVR or watch them straight online or on TV. Any talk shows - at random. You can't even read the show notes to find out what kind of show it is in advance. Springer is probably the best for this, but Steve Wilcos, Maury, any trash will do.
Pick one subject on the three shows.
Pick someone from your own life, maybe a neighbor, maybe the people I just described in my example, maybe yourself with some conflict or strife in their life.
Pick a side character you wondered about in the Family Feud series!!
Then set them either in "Cherry Lawn Estates" an ordinary but affluent suburb on "Gardenia Avenue", a street a few down from where the Taylor Family lived.
or set them in the Buckman down on "J Street" not too far from Glory Hill.
You don't have to involve them with the characters or the timeline from Family Feud but it would be nice if you add them to the "Family Feud" Universe (Totally optional).
This story is about them, it should be a nice little short story with a start (chapter one), a middle (conflict) and an end (chapter three).
You can give them different names and change a few things about their lives (that's an author's privilege). Write the problem pretty much as you saw it but give them the ending you think they deserve!!
That's the game: Even if you have never written a story, just give it a shot! See what you can come up with.
You might inspire somebody ELSE to write, or better to masturbate to your story!!
As a side note: Kung Fu Dave is loosely based on a real character from Jerry Springer. His sister Cricket is sort of an amalgamation of the girlfriends (and possibly sister/cousin) he brought on the show. Search him on google and you'll probably find him!
Yay - thank you so much to the fan who compiled the list of chapters
Chapter 1: A Life Turned Upside Down
Chapter 2: Cowboys and Injuns
Chapter 3: The Long Walk Home
Chapter 4: No good deed goes unpunished
Chapter 5: Dog Day Afternoon
Chapter 6: Working at the Car Wash
Chapter 7 Twerking at the Car Wash
Chapter 8 Jerking at the Car Wash
Chapter 9 Welcome to Rowdy's Family Restaurant
Chapter 10 You know you are broke as hell when
your bologna doesn’t have a first name
Chapter 11 The difference between Facts and Farts
is a C and an R
Chapter 12: Enter Maw-Maw
Chapter 13: A Freudian Slip is when you say one
thing and mean your mother. I mean another
Chapter 14: Twistle Twhile You Twerk
Chapter 15: Fuck Your Rules - We Do What We Want
Chapter 16: Dire Circumstances Call For Desperate
Chapter 17: If life gives you melons – then you
may be dyslexic. Make Lemonade anyway
Chapter 18: I Would Rather Eat Crums With Bums
Than Steaks With Snakes
Chapter 19: If turds could fly they would be
Chapter 20: Assume the position – Point U ASS at
Chapter 21: Lean in real close and ask "twat- I
cunt hear you?"
Chapter 22: Do you think the guy who invented the
vibrator heard voices saying "If you invent it
they will cum?"
Chapter 23: My Hobby Is Suffering Badly And I Need
A Hard Time Fix!
Chapter 24 What is the difference between medium
and rare? 6 inches is medium, 9 inches is RARE!
Chapter 25 "Writing fiction is the act of weaving
a series of lies to arrive at a greater truth."―
Chapter 26: Surely Dreams Have Endings Don't They?
Chapter 27: The one who laughs last is the
slowest. The one who laughs first has the dirtiest
Chapter 28: I need to get this off my chest --
supposably and probally are not words
Chapter 29 There are two sides to every story –
Ted is an insufferable douchebag in both.
Chapter 30 Men have feelings too – for instance,
we feel hungry.
Chapter 31 You mess with me – you mess with the
whole trailer park!
Chapter 32 If it has tires or tits – you are
gonna have problems with it
Chapter 33 A guy who shaves his legs and arms
–probably shaves his vagina too.
Chapter 34 This motherfucker has been in more
Windows than Bill Gates
Chapter 35: Fifty Shades of GAH-AY!
Chapter 36: I don't have ex's, I have y's; as in
'y the hell did I date you?'
Chapter 37: Technically, I don't suck cock. I just
put it in my mouth and wait until the swelling
Chapter 38: Calm seas do not make good sailors
Chapter 39 If you mix Taco Bell hot sauce into
your Ramen, it tastes exactly like "poverty".
Chapter 40 You could be the star of a show called,
"Shit I don't care about!"
Chapter 41 I just ate 6 cans of alphabet soup and
just took the biggest vowel movement ever
Chapter 42 The Ultimate Chapter on Life, the
Universe, and Everything Or The Improbability of
Driving Miss Daisy
Chapter 43 Did You Know The Word LISTEN Uses The
Same Letters As The Word SILENT?
Chapter 44 Q: What is Worse Than Biting into an
Apple and Finding a Worm? A: Ted's Sister
Chapter 45 If it walks like an ass, talks like an
ass, quacks like an ass, it's an ass.
Chapter 46 Autocorrect has become my worst enema!
Chapter 47 Don't try to understand women. Women
understand women – that is why they hate each
Chapter 48 What does frozen beer, burnt pizza and
a pregnant girl have in common? They all involve
an idiot who forgot to take it out in time.
Chapter 49 My face is up here – but please look
at my tits anyway.
Chapter 50: 50 shades of bitches and bosses
Chapter 51: I have sexdaily! I mean dyslexia!
Chapter 52: Seven Simple Rules for Disciplining My
Chapter 53: I sure would like to see you try
Chapter 54: If you put vodka in a Shirley Temple,
that is called a Lindsay Lohan
Chapter 55: You Get About Five Years Of Them As
Billy Before They Turn Into A Ted
Chapter 56: This sucks more than anything that has
Chapter 57: Don't feed me rainbows and give me
Chapter 58: They say with anal sex you can't get
pregnant – then where are all these assholes
Chapter 59: Karma Is Only a Bitch – If You Are!
Chapter 60: Life is not about waiting for the
storm to pass – it's about learning to dance in
Chapter 61: Oh sweetheart, you should probably
only be as rude as you are pretty!
Chapter 62: A Knight In Shining Armor Is Someone
Who Has Never Had Their Metal Truly Tested on the
field of battle
Chapter 63: These are NOT the sluts you are
Chapter 64: I Am Very Proud Of My Humbleness
Chapter 65: Boobs are proof men can focus on two
things at once
Chapter 66: I Can Eat All the Beans and Sell the
Chapter 67 We can lament rose bushes have thorns
or cheer that thorn bushes have roses
Chapter 68 If I told you all of my secrets – I
would have to kill you.
Chapter 69 I find you offensive – then I suggest
you quit fucking finding me.
Chapter 70: To the Victors Go the Spoiled
Chapter 71 I learned long ago, never to wrestle
with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig
Chapter 72 The best advice I ever got was "Don't
Chapter 73 Masturbating is a form of stress relief
– so go fuck yourself and calm down!
Chapter 74 The secret of a successful marriage is
to keep his balls full and his stomach empty
Chapter 75 The Most Epic Blowjob Ever Given
Chapter 76 When your luck runs out, it doesn't
matter how big your dick is – and you my friend
have a little dick
Chapter 77 Life isn't Fair – Fairs have cotton
candy and lemonade stands
Chapter 78: If I Put Two Quarters in Your Ears You
Will Listen To Fifty Cents
Chapter 79 You may be a bad bitch at heart, but
you want to ACT like a good slut
Chapter 80: It's Hard Being A Bad Ass Motherfucker
In A World Full Of Pussies
If you have been following the story "Hard Times" you will realize that the main character's mom and dad are often absent.
In fact, we haven't seen Mike her father since the earliest part of the story.
My question to you the reader is - where do you think he is?
What is your theory on a plausible reason for his absence all week?
Send me your feedback on where and if its correct, I'll write your alter-ego into the story somehow.